Fishing for apologies with the Ospreys

Not happy, Man! (Ospreys upset at being relegated to second banana by near invisible dragonfly.) We're top dogs, um, birds in the Common. And don't you forget it. We demand an apology, on page 1 (Ha, little do they know it's the only page)! And better pictures.

Don't deliver and we'll plaster your Troopy in fish-fuelled corrosive poop till all your paint peels. (I would perhaps have argued the toss but the Troopy's only done 440,000km, so it's barely run-in and must last many years yet.)

Apologised in person yesterday and explained I'd need a flyover to meet their demands. Male wasn't keen but his missus said OK, slapped her two big whingeing fledglings with half eaten breakfast fish and did a circuit. Now bugger off, she said. And so I did.